RED; valentine rhapsody

2008-08-31T23:39:00.004+08:00

we curl up like cats
we curl up like machines that bend and break like brittle bones
this rust has shown its madness, eventually we brown out like dirt on the ground
cats do not love, they, like many others, are replacements for another

underground
like the Tube, avant garde lights winding down and down and down
pinwheels and hair in curls down your spine

2008-08-29T16:28:00.000+08:00

she blushes like an apple

2008-07-27T11:50:00.003+08:00

"you haven't changed much."
you do not know me.

the highest note produced by the wind chime is your signal of hope
the architecture of love weaved veins with your blood

while ordinary people become gods in their new world
the caste system feeds on forgiveness
we do not understand each other, being poison our nature was not one of kindness

infinite

2006-09-15T08:03:00.002+08:00

it would be senseless to be immortal, but over and over again, he recognizes those chocolate brown eyes. she comes back for him over time, be it that she has forgotten or in another life; conscientious or not. once in a while she looks directly at him, it's as though she's seen him before only to draw away in thought.

- chihiro/hakun; spirited away (inspired by Sunfreak)
i do not feel like blogging here anymore. blogger has a flaw, i cannot view my entries that were from eons ago.

i need to breathe

2006-08-02T01:26:00.000+08:00

my mind seems to say 'i'll be happy if you're happy'
the concept works for a second then i'm back to square one where i'm all unhappy again. for some reason i believe i do not have any passion in almost anything except my own writings and passion is everything in this line i'm trying to head. thus i'm heading nowhere but to a dead end. then at the same time, the fact is i'm not very passionate about writing either.

OH ORIHIME <3!

2006-08-01T12:38:00.000+08:00

i just realized that if ORIHIME is going over to the dark side, there's a possibility her personality might just change into some cocky sluttttt. AND THAT WOULD BE SO HOT :D i wonder if she's going to wear low cut clothes that is even incomparable to what MATSUMOTO is wearing now. OH DEAR, then that would be HAREM. AIZEN would PAMPER HER, his right hand person. !@#$%^&*() KUBO YOU SICK GENIUS! :D

NARUTO, you're not neglected either. Comb your hair or something, we're going out. LOL!

infinity, she said (I)

2006-08-01T11:26:00.000+08:00

breathe, she said
walk, she screamed
lie, she tittered
wake, she mumbled
die, she said

break, she smiled

PAINTBALL MAZES

2006-08-01T01:46:00.000+08:00

i cant sleep and it makes me want to fling my shirt off somewhere and run around in the house half naked. bleach wants to make me scream i'm in love over and over again but there's no one to love five times over. 237; goodbye, halcyon days. OH ORIHIME, OH ULQUIORRA <3

ORGANIZER

2006-07-27T04:14:00.000+08:00

book your appointments with me after August 13.
booking entails boring chats over dinner about life and the future. Interested parties should tag board or leave a comment.

It's also about time I give my boobs some recognition. I've been noticing too many uncles on the train staring, I ought to make some money out of such perverse habits. See my chest on posters coming soon (FYI, i have not enlisted to a model agency yet and just might).. -

- which reminds me i ought to exercise for a better body figure and for health insurance. AHAHAHA!

graduation seems like a long way to go. trying to list all my backup plans to ensure that i have a stable job in the future which consists of
1) getting a degree (be a teacher)
2) be an entreprenuer
3) be a model (if face does not meet requirements, surely something else will?)
4) start a school
5) if option 4 does not work out, start a food stall in a school canteen
6) start a production house and boss people
7) start a hotel business
8) sew clothes
9) open an orphanage and send the children to talent agencies to earn enough to support the orphanage
10) ~~be a surrogate mum~~ (just something that spurred in the moment of thought) start writing scripts

do post your suggestions up and intrigue me.
i guess it's too early in the morning and my brain's not working fine. :D
hello skye and bryan! <3

influential mind to heart, vice versa

2006-07-25T23:10:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry to myself for keeping stuff all in but i cant say it out cause it just doesn't seem right only until i'm being forced to a corner. i dont want to let anyone in, my heart can only take that much. it screams i want to i want to i want to, but even when i want to get close i'm afraid. the moments are jinxed and it just doesn't seem right to spoil the image i've been keeping: a bright sunny monster whose grin reaches her eyes. i feel i've given half my life into my internship, all those breakdowns, defending myself with bare arms, listening then gossiping. i've yet to step new ground, breathe some fresh air but it seems i'm all worn out already. my last movie before the lake house was take the lead i think. then the subsequent major events in life: projects and funerals. night shifts and verbal insults/tears in the office. yea this year's been some hot-shot, but will i remember it in the days to come? i'm becoming senile, i start to forget.

i need a gunshot through my head or my heart. it's either the processing or the feeling - not both at the same time.

i miss you so

2006-07-20T08:42:00.000+08:00

i miss you i miss you i miss you
i dont know who i am talking about
i wonder who do i really miss
it's like little voices in my head
i'm all grown up and i know not to cling
it's like reaching out to grab on to air
and knowing there's nothing to hold, you still grasp grab pull for something to hold on to

you know that clinging would be irritating
the concept of "do you belong"

PROPOSAL

2006-07-15T21:44:00.000+08:00

Hi Moving Visuals,

Seeing as how short-handed you are with all the digitizing and dubbing for night shifts, i offer my sleep at a PRACTICAL price to do all your work.
Do consider my proposal.

Regards,
Joyce Poh

i've fallen in love all over again with naruto. i want my real life naruto.

BYE 3 weeks of holiday

2006-07-07T12:31:00.000+08:00

Dearest K*im,

I do not wish to work for you anymore. I would like to have my holidays as soon as possible for working in your office could mean sudden heart attacks and endless nights without proper sleep. It also signifies deadly nightmares that resemble the office. I would have gladly refused the job offer for the pay sucks and I could find a sales job that pays better, that is if I wasn't so obliged to when my liaision officer was in the room and my report was at stake.

Do give me a higher pay for my extra 3 weeks in your office or I would complain to my school adviser that you've been bullying me with your psycho powers of mind-manipulating.

Yours Sincerely,
Joyce Poh

sweet summary

2006-07-04T00:33:00.001+08:00

letter writing is not my forte. so is report writing. my brains seem to have been blasted and they're all over the place, the paragraphs are incoherent and irrevelant. toss in a little music for mood, it becomes worse. there are climaxes that dive right down the next second. i wonder what would happen to my resume.

just in case you happen to wonder what i was listening to:
high school musical - start of something new
beck ost - the dying breed feat tanaka koyuki - moon on the water

the riddler wishes to stop her riddling and run away, would mistah valentine honour her request?

report-writing

2006-07-02T14:34:00.000+08:00

i'm so pent up i cant breathe. i want to let out the mess in my head, be it to drill a hole to spill it all out; shoot a bullet or something. my chest feels heavy and i'm trying to blast music to get it all out, doesn't seem to work. i think i want to die early. i dont know what to write to you, i seem to have lost touch. all my present tenses and past tenses where are you? i cant remember the past nor decide on my life. i need some special kind of air to breathe or something. candy-tainted air or some aspirin-filled air. i believe i need something to hold on to. maybe naruto. a real life naruto.

ah, judgement

2006-07-01T09:19:00.000+08:00

i dreamt that God didn't want me anymore.
i dont think He wants to give me any more chances.

HANGING DIRTY LINEN

2006-06-27T08:08:00.000+08:00

i'm on the verge of smashing some mugs in front of them and scream. I'M ON THE VERGE OF SMASHING SOME MUGS IN FRONT OF YOU AND SCREAM. ACCUSATIONS ACCUSATIONS ACCUSATIONS. YOU ACCUSED ME OF SOMETHING I DID NOT DO.

but sadly, i might also be the one who has to clean up.

oh excuse me!

2006-06-26T00:55:00.000+08:00

oh shush it.
excuses excuses excuses
accuses accuses accuses

relieve his pain relieve his pain relieve his pain
relieve my pain relieve my pain relieve my pain
for once i dont know whether to cry properly or ignore it altogether.

your castle, my dear

2006-06-24T11:58:00.000+08:00

Rinoa's like a princess hidden away from what's going on downstairs.
Anyway, there's no need for her to know, it's boring.

JUNE 23

2006-06-23T20:27:00.000+08:00

It was a beautiful day today.
He must have known.

morning woes

2006-06-23T04:08:00.000+08:00

i cant sleep and it's 4 in the morning. and damn, i'm working the night shift later on.

i want to write something, incredible.
i want to sing lyrics that claws your mind till it bites you deep at night.
she wasn't one to make choices. it was the indecisiveness that turned him off. so he left. i need something to jolt me asleep, awake, inspire me, stop me from feeling so mad and angry and numb and run off all at the same time.

this time i'm blaming it on the weather.
it's just stuffy and i want to go london too.

mis-tah valentine, she sing-songed, would you die for me.
rhetorical questions she was always asking.
but he never knew, she was seeking answers.

i should write bout thieves stealing from Indian factories. (much inspired by xxgreen.livejournal 14.06.06 entry)

human instinct

2006-06-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

it's only human to make someone else the scapegoat.
then i realized you're also only human, K*im.

human instinct has also taught me to hate
to fear
to rebuke
and to lie.

to cheat,
to deceive
to smile
to smirk
to grin
and to glare.

you have't forgotten, have you Joyce Poh?
revealing too much of yourself gets you into trouble.
stray this way
steer that way

oh dear sophie, where'd you go?

2006-06-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

the world through your rose-tinted eyes
when beasts come out to play; when blood comes out to reign

i'll just let the inner beasts roam for an era
they'll have fun and they will run
till i cant get them back anymore and anyhow

i dont mind
i'm beyond help anyway. :)

through your eyes, rinoa, tell me what you see

2006-06-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

what does a five year old see through those eyes of hers?
five years she has lived through, more to come and more to hear.
more to see, more to taste, more to feel and more to sense.

i want to know what you know. i want to know what you see. would you tell me would you tell me, a script or two, my dear little one?

happy birthday, i want all the best for you. all the best only for one with so much joy it influences me to smile.

the aftermath

2006-06-10T10:49:00.000+08:00

still waiting to be sacked in order to avoid disappointment.

the thin red line of humanity and conscience

2006-06-01T20:29:00.000+08:00

i'm bent on being broken and numb.
so God save my humanity and conscience for i'm dying inside to get out of the asylum. they claim it's to help but it's making me worse. feed me medicine to brainwash my mind for i'm bent on revenge, i claim to hate. my inner beast has yet to show.

she was in a gown

2006-05-30T23:33:00.000+08:00

if love was to speak up, what would she say
i have been defined in many asilly ways
some claim they know me personally
some tried to explain what i was all about
some possess a hatred toward me
i'm a bystander watching from the lines

she watched the people run to and forth
they hurried they pushed they pulled
heading towards the opposite was one who limped

well speak what you want of me
then hold on to it
i'm not sure if it is true or not
but one day i guess both you and i shall learn

utterly we believe what we say is right
we mumble in discretion, in digression we know it we know it
but practical philsophy does not work this way
no dead ends but a million streets
with distractions, a hundred feet
streetlamps aplenty shophouses squeezed and slim

love she grew in gardens of blossoms
she grew in london streets of snow
love she grew in war-torn orphans
she grew in blood and sweat
love she took form in shapes of ladies
she took form in bundles of cradles
love she learnt from tears on tombstones
love she learnt from blood of men
love knows not who she is
for she picked up little habits
once she claimed she was so-and-so
she was wrong and that caused pain among the theorists
once she claimed she was this-and-that
she was wrong and that caused dispute among the astrologists
so she gave up, she sat by the side
she let them assumed and she smiled and smiled
she wasn't one to judge whether they were right nor wrong
she was just like them, learning bout herself
(but it was too late, she lost herself
among the little habits she picked
love cant find love amidst her soul
broken she didn't know a solution to such foe!
so she turned dumb, she had no say to woes)

conversations with mistah imaginary

2006-05-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

i've yet to experience love, she said
that's because you're too selfish to love anyone else but yourself, he stated

photoshop fats and muscles

2006-05-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

photoshop the little bits and parts of me gone
just like how the brain bascially works
forget and forgive, forgive and forget
forget forget forget
megabyte eating virus just photoshopped off my pixelated brain of toufu.

a soul so dirty, you wish to speak?

2006-05-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

screaming infinity
your price to pay for immortality
servitude and never changing loyalty
royalty atrocity
blood bath massacre the blind can see!

a corner of the wall i wish to fit in
all balled up muttering obscenity

underground politics

2006-05-20T00:18:00.000+08:00

it's like weaving, sweeping, gliding through people around you. you slither like a snake, dodge, no! dont touch me! just taking it all in, slithering slithering.

i'm not used to the hair on my head
i'm laughing at you, laughing at me

i'm causing an upheaval but it wouldnt seem like a big deal anyway.

all the grim and grime on the ends of your jeans

shhh, the world's not that nice

2006-05-14T11:54:00.000+08:00

if a single parent is capable of grooming up a child, then i would have no qualms. in fact i would like to adopt a kid or two without bonds to another. however if even two are incapable of running a ~~house~~ home, what's the use of staying when they cant even talk properly to each other anymore. if the reasons for staying are because of the children, do do a proper job of acting but what the fCK, i bet you couldn't stand each other after several years of acting, so what the hell are you two doing together. the blame would only get to the children. yes, you would only IMPLICATE the children. so let me turn gay or something to prove this ~~(senseless)~~ awesome theory.

so constant, i imagined changes

2006-05-13T23:01:00.000+08:00

so did you realize that i was also just taking it all in and i might just wear out like the rubber soles on your shoes soon? so you remained constant, did it ever occur to you that maybe subconciously i felt all changes? the little wants will sooner or later all add up.

it's one big showdown and there's no turning back. cause even if we tried, things will not be the same again.

you've been doing well

2006-05-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of D.ho again last night.
and i found his blog this evening.
AHAHAHAHA. it's a small world

gimme my motobike

2006-05-12T11:57:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of riding a super cool black motorbike yesterday with bev as a pillion. she was being damn irritating but i guess that was because of the excitment. sheesh, and i was wearing my goggles-specs on that ride, how geeky :( oh well, LOL! then the whole situation became an ouran scene. strange, but OH WHAT THE HECK! I NEED A SUPERCOOL MOTObIKE NOW.

drum beat in sync with heart

2006-05-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

heartstrings strung
like a harp playing softly
why does the heart pump a rhythm of blood
swollen clots and prick!
aburst of red, free of dead ends and question marks

no you shouldn't

2006-05-07T01:30:00.000+08:00

dont perceive me
dont assume me
dont resume me
dont want me
dont love me
dont get me
dont hate me
dont seek me
dont believe me

i know i know i know

2006-05-05T20:17:00.000+08:00

i do realise that if this is for permanent, i might not have anyone to fall back on. i guess my only remedy would be lying in bed and hope for sleep.

one two three johnny caught a flea

2006-05-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

any universities, cheap and non-local coming to invite me as one of their students? i guess not.

hello i've missed you so, j

2006-05-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

i've heard bout you
i've heard you
i want to get away from you
i want you
anybody heard a chinese version of black black heart?
cheers, to all your kings and queens all your sex and your diamonds.

skip to my lou my darling

2006-05-01T03:24:00.000+08:00

i want to do an evil version of "lou lou skip to my lou"
you know, like chucky or something.
michael kam was on life! newspaper.

something familiar

2006-04-30T11:53:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of duane last night and have forgotten what was it all about.

after dealing with people in work during the weekdays, you just dont feel like dealing with people at home anymore. you just want to sit down in a corner, drink your cup of coffee/milo with surroundings familiar/unfamiliar to you. (huihui trigger) maybe that's why people dont get married these days, they dont want to deal with another somebody who might turn out to be troublesome. lie in bed and sleep or something, something that might just go on forever and ever. :)

it's a matter of touch and go. you know you have it but it shouldn't be something you indulge in. afterall change is constant, one day you have it, the next day you wont. got something you want badly? so, get it. and if you lose it, it's a cycle of being happy and being disappointed all over again. be on your heels boys and girls, the glasses are always half-full and half-empty, the line's not always straight. maybe someday when i do settle down, i'll look back at this entry and say, how ironic.

era redefined

2006-04-29T11:29:00.000+08:00

along the southern precipice of that southern forest
sits the riddler of wise and age
beasts they fear, they worship the lithe piece of calm
she sits there unmoved, undead and undefined

book of infinity

2006-04-29T02:41:00.000+08:00

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
Quote William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2
The Quotations Page

and in infinity, she sees nothing
lurking outside the enchanted forest, she takes a peek among its curtain of vines and sees a hooded figure on a rock
the riddler a fiddle a needle for a bow

old english bar and bread

2006-04-27T07:55:00.000+08:00

you know you're going nuts when you dream of work; someone coming down to your house at 6 am for an audition, trying to wake you up while you're still dressed in a top and shorts that hike up all the way to your buttcheeks, you're half dressed and indecent. (mr tee, whatcha doing here? urghhh.) you know you're also going nuts when you dream of sex in a train/lift just because another couple came into the cabin and the only place you shift is into someone's arms, covered in blankets which is also total bullshit. (mr ho, stop seducing me) you also dream of a pair of boy twins whom like you alot and try to grab your attention as much as possible in an old english bar that serves bread. they were very cute and slender, very much chatty. they whined when they were given bread. i'm tired out from work.

time-out

2006-04-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

i want to dance like ok go.
i need a time-out, to be silly, jump around be crazy, head banging, butt shaking, arms flailing, voice screaming. i need a time out to roll around in bed, toss and turn like sausages on a barbeque, read comics and laugh myself silly.

simple play things

2006-04-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

bend blend break make
i will watch as dawn breaks you
while you lie, curled up in your bed

unfortunately, play things do not come for free

she ranted

2006-04-22T22:15:00.000+08:00

i'm not a very happy girl
what was that i was saying i hated people being negative?

insincere and quite messed up

2006-04-18T21:56:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm not sorry i'm sorry i'm not sure

and sometimes all i want to do is not know you at all and sometimes all i want to do is run away from you i cant be there for you anymore i cant be there for you anymore i cant be there for you anymore i know i will be back i dont know when all i can tell you is that i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i'm sorry i cant be there when you need me all i do is run set me free set me free set me free whee whee whee let me be let me be let me be this is me this is me this is me

basic necessities

2006-04-17T13:24:00.000+08:00

i'm waiting for someone to keep me in a house
with soup sachets, a computer, a mattress and a bathroom
to curl up and wait for sleep eternally

hello you

2006-04-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

i cant take care of you anymore
goodbye

the junction of a million roads

2006-04-14T23:50:00.000+08:00

i'll leave you be
choose your destiny but not me.
see the world, he said

my world consists of korean drama, jap drama, deviantART, work, sleep, food and the thousand possiblities i want it to happen in the future. be it sex, lesbian, bisexual, hot men, a desolate world, social escorts, a puppy, a kitten, a mattress, a mascot, a career woman, a single mother, a writer, a director, a family, a house, a studio, a vessel, a prostitute, a girl, a child, a woman. i want them all to happen so that i'll be more broken. my world seems incomplete without feeling empty.

let jars drip their last drop of honeymilk and sweet tea
then let them shatter for there's no other possiblity than to serve drinks
no they screamed, i've yet to taste the million concoctions out there
that was reasonable, so she let them live

miss detective

2006-04-10T21:56:00.000+08:00

i'll leave no evidence of myself
it's like i never existed
then deny yourself of such dreams
for she never existed

clean
when will i be stripped of this skin
pain bane cane sane

on the run

2006-04-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

sick of life and everything that moves?
then let me help you
let me frame you up in a photograph
where life is still
life is quiet
life on motion is not accepted

i'll put you in a picture, where it's so still
frame it up till it yellows and withers (then dies)
(along with the era, the world, and life literally)

red stripes on cotton

2006-04-07T08:30:00.000+08:00

Joyce, you're my candy stripper on the run
black vespa and sleek milk headphone

in sleep

2006-04-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

then a sudden bout of loneliness sweeps over (in bed)
clawing walls and running out
back in house, hang from ceiling
cover face with hands, leave eyes open
closets' doors are open
skeletons
sleep with skeletons in the closet
the end
(would that make you safer
would that make you secure
oh poor jane
you've been frightened to death)
your image of hell's just too nice

rapunzel's concoction

2006-04-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

ah rapunzel rapunzel
brew beer gutters and a darling kettle
pour sweet wine down my throat
ah rapunzel rapunzel
stir your concoction in your cauldron

oh rapunzel rapunzel
my dear little bartender.

scream such symphonies

2006-04-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

bjork wang fei and absolute absurd crazy ideas.
colors contrasting, i want out.
give me composition and a toy to play.
i want life out of life, give me vibrant
give me dull, i want to see the world through
a camera, a kaleidoscope, a tv and a God.

RAINING SEASON

2006-03-31T18:37:00.000+08:00

it's raining constant showers. i like it here, so many ideas so randomly pittering pattering. let it rain, let it pour. amidst dark and deep, light and dim, grey and shadowed. cold like ice down the spine. ah! scream your agony sky heaven and space. space disturbed by droplets and droplets. ~~round~~ (repeat) circles of splish and splosh, plob and plob.

the black joker's game (death was at her mercy)

2006-03-31T18:19:00.000+08:00

he would take her as his queen.
as merciless as he is. as ice cold, and passionate as he is. but (right) now she was just numb. from men, from death, from this from that, from life, from rain, from thunder from lightning (pardon me, but it's raining) from skies, from food, from physical touch, from physical pain, from physical warmth, from wounds, from scars, from battles, from war. she knew a little magic or two.

but (neither) he did not expect her to find love. (she didn't know it yet) he wanted her cold and shattered. heart broken and fallen. strong and stubborn. he wanted her human. then he knew he had lost her forever. he should have gotten her from the start. waiting was senseless. change was constant. she had found love in a werewolf. death was envious death was jealous.

he should have gotten her from the start. manipulated her to his wants, needs, desire, lust. manipulated her to his perfection. his perfect world. he was hideous, mindless, murderous, vengeful, outrageous. hell was at his mercy, their fires/flames ten times ~~incinerous, what?~~ ~~greedy~~ hungry in his presence. she was his queen, his idol, perfected, whole and hollow.

now she was dirty. dirty like dirt. dirty like dirt! but he still wanted her. wanted her human, wanted her broken, wanted her shattered and whole. flawless and tainted. faulted and blamed. he smirked and he roared. he wanted her. he wanted her world. he cursed and he swore, he bit and he screamed. blood on oath, blood on flesh, he set out to find her. his perfected little angel, his perfect little jester, his pretentious little liar, his stubborn little thief, his ice cold queen of hearts, cruel ace of diamonds, smug nine of clubs and snicky six of spades.

faces

2006-03-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

a face from ballet
an arm of tattoos
eyes of black shadows and mascara
hair like hay, rugged and fluff

she told jokes for sale, that girl.

overgrown

2006-03-31T17:43:00.000+08:00

i feel like a little girl in this body
everything feels so big.

black diamond (ideas in the shower)

2006-03-31T17:10:00.000+08:00

a gem?
a card?
a ship?
untold fortunes
crystal balls

the black joker
an unwanted princess
a tale was told of a princess who was abandoned for her birth signified the death of the queen. rumor was heard the king and queen had longed for a prince, thus she was abandoned. ~~or that the counsel (had) persuaded the king to throw her out for the astronomer foretold a black star, dead and weedless, misfortune and furtile, useless and just dead at her birth.~~ regardless she was not soughted after, no one knew what happened to her after that, where she went, was she dead, was she eaten, was she wanted. no one cared to know.

she travelled. she was well known as the black joker. ~~(she tells jokes and once she left, they died LOL!)~~ (she did tricks like thieves, she was among the top) she brought death with her. ~~she made deals with hades to delay her death.~~ she escaped death occasionally, once in a while she met death himself. (but) they hated each other's guts for they were death symbols themselves. (he didn't want her, she didn't want him, death liked his victims' innocence and stupidity, she was just like him or even better, he hated her so he was waiting for that moment when he enjoyed her death the most. she would be his triumph card and his ultimate nemesis, like a twin, a wife, a clone, a lover, a child, a pet, a slave, an angel, the fallen, God or right hand man.) she wore black spandex and had lovely shape. no one knew her, she often hid in masks. till moonlight she met a creature so lovely at the forest precipice who crept towards her.

she loved the gem. black diamond. like an eye, what was jewellery if it was not shown off. so she wore it on her __________? (clevage, eye, tooth, nose, ear, small of her back, nail, head)
a card different from the others, black diamond.
pirates from black diamond.
black diamond?

work must be driving me senseless

2006-03-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

what bout a werecat for fay, which rests on her chest?
AHAHAHA.

werecats

2006-03-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

and morphosis
strange world she dreamt
black fay she went
on an adventure to search
for better land

far lands and high heels
corsets and high necked chills
she crept and she crawled among the roads
and alleys of rickety rackety sheds and tickety tackety shops
next to a rubbish bin, she lied and she yawned
kissed a werewolf darling, she had sex on the yard

black fay
cat fay

infinity/reality

2006-03-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

FATHER ABRAHAM X BAPE X KAWS says:
wasnt it a reality
FATHER ABRAHAM X BAPE X KAWS says:
how much it seems to be an infinity
FATHER ABRAHAM X BAPE X KAWS says:
on such lonesome ground it is
FATHER ABRAHAM X BAPE X KAWS says:
DEPTH

how knowledgable, FATHER ABRAHAM :D

late night drinks and serpent things

2006-03-30T20:16:00.000+08:00

sirens sing their love amidst seas
oh sweet lullablies to drown in deep

black fay rides on him,
tugs her little hands on his mane
test the wind, she fell asleep

black fay refused to call him a pet
even when he leaned in to kiss her bud shaped lips
a black kiss, a kiss of death
werewolf kisses and bad faerie tales

Bleuwyn's Perfection series
(mr valentine as death)
Part I
Part II
oh just how she portrays him, so gently.

a writer's dilemma

2006-03-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

i am highly influenced by music
and if i do go deaf and am suddenly deprived from it
what's going to keep the voices in my head still.

and blood will reign

2006-03-27T03:50:00.000+08:00

... those whose fingers itch to gorge (your eyeballs) for fare
... those who's heartless for scratch and wear
let bleed dye dry in sake for sacrifice
blood shall reign both earth and sky

ice queen and red queen both like their knights (black and white respectively)
fayle likes her cook just as dear as tender meat
black fay ah black fay sweet dear black fay
hypnotize and go to sleep under a broken church chandelier, my sweets

taint glass and faint spells in bottles of rye
candle light and cobweb curtseys
spiderwick and black widows crawl up your skin
black fay you wish you had kissed death straight on the lips.

listening to chris vrenna - wonderland woods (american mcgee's alice OST)
yoko shimomura - primal eyes (parasite eve OST)
puts you on dangerous mode, dont you think so?

stab stab stab

2006-03-26T03:46:00.000+08:00

what goes through the mind of a sociopath?
kill kill kill
revenge revenge revenge
uncomfort uncomfort uncomfort
bite bite bite
mine mine mine
the selfish wants in order to gain comfort
mission : fulfill desire
the path to embrace death

mad king's fort/empire
mad man's charade (the horse and its kings) let me ruin you
are you avoiding me now?
sheesh, the expectations of a lonesome person

MEME

2006-03-25T13:54:00.000+08:00

000. Name, birthday, age? JOYCE POH JIALI, 23 SEP, 18+
001. How many keys are on your keychain? 2
002. What curse word do you use the most? WHAT THE HELL
003. Do you own an iPod? NO
004. Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most? DONT HAVE
005. What time is your alarm clock set for? 6 AM 9 AM 12 AM
006. How many suitcases do you own? NONE
007. Do you wear flip-flops even when it's cold outside? YES
008. Where do you buy your groceries from? NTUC
009. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? IN
010. What was the last movie you watched? MUNICH
011. Do any of your friends have children? NO (I THINK?)
012. If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy? MP3 PLAYER
013. Has anyone ever called you lazy? YES
014. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? NO
015. What CD is currently in your CD player? NO CD PLAYER, listening to DASHBOARD CONF.
016. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? CHOC
017. Has anyone told you a secret this week? YES
018. When was the last time someone hit on you? YESTERDAY SKYE PINCH ME
019. What did you have for dinner? IT'S AFTERNOON, yesterday's DINNER WAS CHICKEN PORRIDGE
020. Do you wear hoodies often? NOPE
021. Can you whistle? NOPE
022. Have you ever participated in a protest? NOPE (LOL!)
023. Who was the last person to call you? HOME?
024. What is your favorite ride at an amusement park? SPIN UMBRELLA THING
025. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? SURE, I'M SUCH A BIMBO
026. What area code are you in right now? 400413
027. Did you watch cartoons as a child? DEFINITELY
028. How big is your local mall? 2 LEVELS ONLY
029. How many siblings do you have? 4
030. Are you shy around the opposite sex? MAYBE YES
031. What is your biggest regret? DELETE
032. Have you ever had Jamba Juice? NO?
033. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt? YESTERDAY
034. What movie do you know every line to? SPIRITED AWAY?
035. Do you own any band t-shirts? GM BAND SHIRT AHAHAHA
036. When was your last plane ride? NONE
037. How many chairs are at your dining room table? 4?
038. What is your favorite salad dressing? TARTAR/MUSTARD
039. Do you read for fun? WHAT THE? NO?
040. Can you speak any languages other than English? YES
041. Do you do your own dishes? YES
042. What color is your bedroom painted? YELLOW
043. Have you ever cried in public? YES?
044. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? YES
045. Which do you make: wishes or plans? WISHES
046. Are you always trying to learn new things? YES
047. Do you shower on a daily basis? YES
048. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? YES
049. Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date? NO
050. Can you skip rocks? NO
051. Have you ever been to Jamaica? NO
052. What to snack on at the movie theatres? ICECREAM, HOTDOG
053. Who was your favorite teacher? MR TAN
054. Have you ever dated someone out of your race? YES
055. What is the weather like? CLOUDY
056. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? NAH?
057. Do you have an online journal? YES
058. What was your favorite class in high school? ART/PE
059. Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes? MAYBE
060. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex? HUMOR
061. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive? LALALALA
062. When was the last time you slept on the floor? THIS MORN
063. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? NONE
064. Does your closest Starbucks have a drive-thru? LOL NO
065. Do you like your living arrangement? IT'S OKAY
066. What is your mother's hometown? AHAHAHA
067. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 6++
068. Do you eat breakfast daily? NOPE
069. What was the last thing to scare you? COCKROACH
070. Are your days full and fast-paced? NO
071. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class? YES
072. What is your favorite fruit? DRAGONFRUIT GUAVA
073. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? AT TIMES
074. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 19
076. Do you believe in life on other planets? NO
077. Have you ever been to Six Flags? NO
078. Who was the last person to piss you off? YANGHE? KHID?
079. Do you believe that God has a gender? ...MAYBE
080. What was the last thing you ate? EATING BA CHOR MEE NOW
081. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? DONT KNOW
082. What did you dress up as for your first Halloween? NORMAL PEOPLE
083. How did your parents pick your name? LOL
084. Do you like mustard? YES PLEASE
085. What do you tell yourself when times get hard? DIE DIE DIE
086. Would you ever sky dive? NOPE
087. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? SIDE AND TUMMY
088. What character from a movie most reminds you of yourself? HACHI
089. Have you ever bid for something on ebay? NO
090. What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant? OH YAY! CUTE BABIES
091. Do you enjoy giving hugs? YES
092. Would you consider yourself to be fashionable? NO
093. Do you own a digital camera? NOPE
094. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? LOL SORRY NOT INTERESTED
95. What celebrities have you been compared to? STELLA HUNG AND ELLA
096. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? ANAKIN?
097. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do? YES
098. What books, if any, have made you cry? BOOKS ON REAL LIFE i guess
099. Do you think you're attractive? YES
100. What are you allergic to? RAW STUFF ( SELF PROCLAIMED OF COURSE )
101. Are you a jealous person? YES
102. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? HMMM
103. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat? YES
104. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been? JAVIER (LOL LOL LOL)
105. Did you ever celebrate "Pi Day" in school? AHAHAHA?

saint valentine's death penalty

2006-03-24T03:19:00.000+08:00

fayle liked black.
like death
she embraced it like blood
red
like roses
a symbol of pain and beauty rolled into one

1. pretentious

2006-03-19T22:45:00.001+08:00

an ode to my queen

stature and status that breach all rules for contact
your charisma eats all emotion (such cold facades and piercing eyes!)
you're broken yet your head's held high
manipulative pretentious your name's at stake
just like white diamonds worthy of worship and praise
roses of scent so sweet and blossoms so fair
vines that intertwine, your thorns they encase and ensnare
(you're lonely but you dont know it)
till my blood drowns you in scarlet red
you seek pain before the beauty

i'm having a writing challenge against THE ARTFUL CHEF, do leave a comment to tell me which one you prefer. judging will be based on votes.

when beasts are more humane than humans

2006-03-18T19:20:00.000+08:00

you're a thorn in my neck
havent you realised i'm being coy
there's a crack in this concrete floor
(let damned vines hide me from you)

hearts give way,
your affinity not mine
there will be war tonight.

at the beach

2006-03-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

are you feeling as lonely as i do? salt on skin and sunkissed limbs, fall asleep under sea

GOSSIP ON SKYE AND EDO

2006-03-16T16:14:00.000+08:00

[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
edo is fuzzy siberian fuzz
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
...........
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
i knew you would say that
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
u know hes actually just a ball of fluff
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
LOL
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
that rhymes
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
sometimes i come home i accidentally step on him
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
cos like i said
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
its like a ball of fluff
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
like got tune
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
LOL
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
AHAHAHAHA
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
then forget to feed him
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
so lie down there like dead le
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
let ppl step
your charisma eats into my jealousy says:
i'm putting this on my blog
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
wahhaha
[/.瞬火ウイン.スカイ. Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.] †.ちいさな空 Mavèrick Kiyoharu.† says:
ure writing about my pet hams?

how very cruel.

cold water scalds me

2006-03-16T15:08:00.000+08:00

...while hot water washes me grim.
i'm probably the only one at home who likes hot water baths scalding skin till it flushes.

your aura draws people near to you, and i'm jealous. i'm jealous of the attention you're getting, i'm jealous of the attention you're showering them. i want you all to myself, but that's not how your world revolves around. yes, your charisma eats me, still i find myself being drawn to you. how unfair

your charisma eats into my jealousy.

washed up and wasted

2006-03-16T12:41:00.000+08:00

i willingly consent to being used so that people will be happy. that's utter bull shit.
i'm selfish, i want this, i want you, i want that, i want him, i want her. i'll take glory for anything i can. i'm bored and sick to the bone.

NANA

2006-03-15T18:49:00.000+08:00

i see my life on a comic book.

affinity?

2006-03-15T12:45:00.000+08:00

in a fleet of a moment, i saw a card on the floor "affinity, innovation"... resisted the urge to pick it up and then ignored it.
affinity? ...what was affinity then?

wine red (lyrics)

2006-03-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

- the hush sound

who shot that arrow in your throat
who missed the ~~creams and~~ crimson apples
we'll live unhappy on a tree above your head
this chaos this corlanity this garden once was perfect
give your immortality to me, i'll set you up against the sky

woah we ~~love~~ are, we lie we cant go on
this is the time and this is the place to be, alive

who shot that arrow in your throat
who missed the ~~creams and~~ crimson apples
and there is discord in the garden tonight

the sea's wine red
this is the death of beauty
the ducks have died
the lovers will lie

i pluck the arrow from your neck
stretched to beneath the tree
among the roots and baby's breath
i covered us with silver leaves

woah we ~~love~~ are, we lie we cant go on
this is the time and this is the place to be, alive

the sea's wine red
this is the death of beauty
the ducks have died
the lovers will lie

EDITOR: LEE SHAO XIANG, THANKS! theartfulchef

a simple smile

2006-03-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

is all it takes to get drawn to you.
friendship was never an easy path, what more of human instincts for the/our own better (facades and personiality makeovers)? i'm afraid of losing what i've been trying to keep. wilful she was and wilful she was not, ignorant but careful, to break such fragile fibre was the last thing she would do.

and chess would be such a complicated game

2006-03-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

metaphoring life, metaphoring paths, metaphoring manipulation, metaphoring drama, metaphoring conflict, metaphoring sex, metaphoring steps to take.

it's a wonder why i dont play chess.
listening to black black heart - david usher

i like forgotten knights and ice queens
a spin of tale and truth, lies that are/blind (bind)
seduction temptation all weave a web
in a ruin a castle of dark a forest of enchantment
evil draws near

i like how complications arise
out of my game (outside my game)(out of my life)(outside my life)(you do this)(no you dont)(yes you are)(no you're not)(kiss and tell)(knife my life)(knife naive) cut clean through sorrow differentiate yours and mine, burden oh burden your burden not mine
in their story, no not mine
i cause i solve i rule
i pray i prey i play
oops no answers no solutions delete delete delete
out of my life out of my mind out of my tale of life and death your sex and your lies

mix and match

2006-03-12T12:30:00.000+08:00

the set of colors i like
like crayons and color pencils
white to black black to white
you're my alter ego

coincidence

2006-03-12T00:24:00.000+08:00

those who do not believe in God say coincidences happen
those who do, say it's God's plans
what about fate? destiny? etc etc
i do believe in God, my excuse is coincidence. AHAHAHA, oh well. excuses excuses all i give myself are excuses. LA LA LA~ (trigger plot)

save as draft

2006-03-10T07:55:00.000+08:00

save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft save as draft.

how much more can i take in (you see it's a choice, valentine, she said, you choose whether or not you take them in. it's a choice of will)
sorrow will eat you inside out till you're full and empty all at the same time (vacant but wholesome hollow fallow mellow widow) the pain cycle starts all over again till i claw my nails out on concrete walls, wail my throat sore and bail my eyes red. till black washes over, numb void and null i'm sore red and raw till water washes over me i beat myself clean scrub my eyes dry scream aloud the flashbacks whatifs wouldbes in my mind till i curl up and die yes, like beasts we lick your wounds, blood red and scarlet fresh like beasts we seek such delicate pain and sorrow and that rare nerve that keeps us away from such fear inside out. i want you back i want you back i want you back i want you back i want you back i regret i regret i regret i regret i regret i regret i regret i regret i dont know what to say i dont know what to say i dont know what to say i dont know what to say i dont know what to say, to you

no excuse no excuse no excuse no excuse no excuse no excuse they tell me no excuse. yes i have no excuses not to see you i convince myself i do think about you i convince myself you're still here i'll always have time i convince myself i. yes till we all bleed red and die

what i see in you

2006-03-09T19:38:00.000+08:00

i'm sticking to imaginary husbands and boyfriends for time being.
how numb have i slipped in? shaking hands and a curtsey to thy sweetheart made of air. flair and clare; oh fair and bare, shun or bear; make such bait lure for cure.

and she asked me, where do you feel safest at?
a slow bid of eyelashes and i replied, in front of the computer.
(serial experiment lain trigger)

kiss on the hand

2006-03-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

YEAR TWO ENDED WITH A KISS ON THE HAND BY ONE OF CLEO'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS! OH MY! THANK YOU BRYAN! (the one who sees beauty in everything, including me; i love you. <3)

... i still think he went off to scrub/soap his mouth after that :( LOL.

zzzz

2006-03-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

if i sleep anymore, i am going to get brain damage.

when people see me,

2006-03-05T13:39:00.000+08:00

they see a big lump of fat bouncing.
they see SEXUAL DESIRE written all over (complete with flashing arrows all over me)

i tag skye, bryan, niece, z and joa.
"when people see me, they see _______"

the flower lotus

2006-03-05T12:54:00.000+08:00

seems so intriguing, like it would eat you up soon
engulf you in beauty and darkness
my body is an art form my body is an art form my body is an art form my body is an art form (chants) does that mean i can get a tattoo?

a mind is a terrible thing to waste

2006-03-05T12:36:00.000+08:00

quote from United Negro College Fund

imagine just the many people out there that could have been fantastic artists, fantastic writers but their words could never be translated due to poverty, famine and drought. (bone and skin) while i on the other hand, have so much to scream about, i seem to ought to die. (and that they have experienced so much, there's infinite to write about, reflect on so that the world will know.)

TRIVIA

2006-03-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

The Mechanical Contrivium: Joyce Poh Jiali
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Joyce Poh Jiali!

1. Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of Joyce Poh Jiali, and frequently rise to the surface for air.
2. The horns of Joyce Poh Jiali are made entirely from hair!
3. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of Joyce Poh Jiali.
4. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Joyce Poh Jiali is near.
5. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than Joyce Poh Jiali!
6. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than Joyce Poh Jiali, and 400 times smaller!
7. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Joyce Poh Jiali.
8. The deepest part of Joyce Poh Jiali is over 35,000 feet deep.
9. If you lick Joyce Poh Jiali ten times, you will consume one calorie.
10. Red Joyce Poh Jiali at night, shepherd's delight. Red Joyce Poh Jiali at morning, shepherd's warning.

link

run out, run fast! she exclaimed

2006-03-04T20:29:00.000+08:00

life in an almost broken family
is like pulling on the thread till it finally snaps

i want to write a story about the life of a runaway
but i have no such experience
meanwhile, i'll make up these little stories on the way
so to better prepare for a homeless life

IT'S FINALLY SATURDAY!

2006-03-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

ah, end of year two is almost here.
AND i simply cant imagine myself five years from now, quiet and elegant with a pregnant belly. OH MY

cotton candy

2006-03-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

infinity is like cotton candy
sweet puffy fluffy and instantly gone

why would this be called cotton candy, she pointed towards the pink fluff
why not cloudy candy since it just like them
cotton can be dyed easily with colours, just like your feelings my dear
pink, yellow, blue, green, red, white, black and grey
nope, not like the sky
only blue, grey, red, orange, purple, yellow and white.

lost

2006-03-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

let it come and seek you instead, he said
what if it never comes back, just like the dead? she asked

have you ever heard what moths are?
nope, she said
the elders say they carry the soul of a loved/lost one
and bring them back

when's the panic going to sink in?

2006-02-28T04:13:00.000+08:00

OH MY!@#$% 4.12am and I've just finished cutting my nails. :) it must be CG, made me nuts and now i'm so... not bothered anymore. Afterall it's the holidays, right?

an empty fish tank

2006-02-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

i cant help but feel quite bad for the fishes that died over the weekend. they were quite cute, swimming upside down and floating on the air bubbles. talking about them now makes me feel as though i'm revolving around in my own seat; like a carousel. it's quite giddy up there in the head and quite scary too. maybe it's just the coffee?

i'm quite afraid with the idea of working with adults. what if i am not up to the standard; their standards? surely i cannot fake my way through now. this concerns my future for goodness sake! am i in or out? AHHHHHHH.

the typewriter craze

2006-02-26T10:41:00.000+08:00

the big trend in my house now is the 10-year old (taking a random guess) left-aside-and-ignored typewriter. surely a house needs one when there is a scriptwriter in the making (AKA me.) maybe i should use it later when no one is looking because i'm acting so nonchalent right now. AHAHAHA. i'm very tempted to get a new one just for myself.