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VERILLYN
Saturday, July 16, 2005
i dare not looked into your eyes
... ashamed and proud.
i watched your back. i looked forward (when you're beside). anywhere but there, those windows to your soul; i'm afraid you'd read me too clearly, while i am still translucent. there was no need to look into your eyes, and i didn't want to. i'm afraid to fall, and there's nothing to talk. (it's as though) i didn't miss you horribly enough. it's a scary thought, it's like something's missing. the pestering and the annoyance. i'm too calm around you now. too cool, too cold. sure; one day you'll come back to me. it's all too different now.
i dont want to be here anymore. nothing's making me anticipate. i'll arm myself with an umbrella, slay invisible monsters in the dark and pretend i'm some superhero. sure, i'll need some comrades. apply here and state some qualifications. a quest to find humanity. perhaps a little bit of reality.
somehow i hope it rains tomorrow. i'll take the umbrella out and start a little dance and secretly hope someone watches. then again, nah i dont want anyone to watch for fear of judgement. she/he would think there's a stupid nutcase waiting for lightning to strike. now how smart is that?
12:47 AM