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Monday, February 06, 2006
ho-hum
rinoa sneezed a rubber piece up her nose and is at the hospital right now. grandpa's in the hospital for another reason, he's not feeling well. where's my compassion and correct state of mind right now? i find this family weird/overdramatic/senseless, and myself numb/sick of it all. in fact i watched desperate housewives till the end before i blogged. am i even human(e)? this self-centeredness where selfishness takes it to another level that it's their own faults. where i can be helpless all i want. that's right! i dont have to know, i dont have to act like i know. then all the more; what's eating in me is my conscience. i believe he'll live, because i want God to let him live a little longer. i believe she'll be alright, because this is another one of the stories i get to tell her when she grows up where i get to embarrass her. is this faith or just reassurance? sometimes i contradict myself to the point i dont really know who i am, what i am and what i have become.
i have a dream
a void where we play hide and seek
black white and concrete grey
we took crayons and paint it gay
pink blue yellow green and red
lust sorrow sloth envy and hate
so scream your songs of agony
let it be my symphony
an alternate world beyond your reality.
sheesh, i'm getting bad at this. i really want that 7,000 pounds.
11:11 PM